White hairs, black hairs, Johann Schwarz-Kollmann, the drain. A dystopian tale.
Transcript:
Once upon a time, there was a white hair and a black hair, living in John's beard. One day, as John was washing his face, the two hairs fell in the sink. The white hair said to the black hair, 'Farewell my friend! We may never see each other again. Farewell my friend, for the drain is our destiny!' The black hair said, 'Farewell my friend! Farewell! I will never see you again. Farewell my friend, for the drain is our destiny!' And then the two hairs, still wet and slightly beaded with water, went down the drain. John washed the sink, turned off the water, grabbed a towel and dried his face. He was sad that the two hairs fell down. But he had another day to live and hopefully, in that day's adventure, a white hair and a black hair wouldn't fall off again.
As soon as they went down the drain, the black hair saw a piece of lint, and said to the white hair: "Look! A piece of lint! Let's greet it!", so they did, and the piece of lint replied quickly, "Hello! Hello there! What are you?", after which the black hair said: "I'm Johann Schwarz-kollmann (this is his surname [sidename] in english, his proper name is John) and this is my friend, a white hair." "Nice to meet you!" the piece of lint exclaimed. "What's your name?" After that moment, the white hair and the piece of lint became good acquaintances, so every time John skipped a day to shave, the white hair would go to the drain, find his friend the piece of lint, and they would drink tea and chat all night until John got home again. They enjoyed each other's company, they were best friends! But then, one day, while they were still drinking tea and chatting, John came back home, saw his beard on the sink, turned off the light in the washroom, and went to bed. "He'll be back tomorrow", the white hair thought, "Maybe we won't find the piece of lint anymore. Oh well." So, when John got to wash his face the next day, the white hair was upset at the black hair.
As the hairs were living in the drain with the piece of lint, they were causing quite the commotion, and clogged the sink. John then pulled the hairs out of the sink, replacing them with the piece of lint, and when he went to empty the drain, he threw the piece of lint down too, for now he wasn't his friend. Instead, he used a piece of lint because it was cheaper to buy, than to buy a piece of hair. But eventually, one day those hairs were replaced with a sponge, a foam one, and with time the foam sponge became used to the way it lived, so it repelled pieces of lint. The end. The end the end the end, of the end. End. The hairs and the piece of lint became lonely in the drain, and they became more accustomed to their scary environment. Until eventually, they... AAAAAAAh WOOAH Jeez guys, I sure wanted to tell you this AWESOME-SPOOKY story that I had, but I can't read the next word on my sheet because my flashlight broke. ffffffffff! I hate it when it breaks. Please borrow me a cd player. Goodbye.